A Letter To: 19 Year Old Me

Dear Lauren,

If I'm right about you, (and I am, because I am you), you're probably wondering, 'How the fuck did I get this letter from myself?' You didn't. This letter is just a symbol of my relationship with my past self and a reflection on how I've lived my life. BUT! If through some magical event this gets this into hands of the internet dwelling insomniac I was at 19, I'll write it anyway. Plus, Facebook told me to, (yea, social media is still a thing and yes, you're still hyper-addicted to it. It's a problem).

Anywho, Lauren, I'm almost 30. Not the 'almost 30' that a 27 year old says, but the, 'my birthday is literally in less than 20 days' type of 'almost 30.' You know, the scary kind that makes you question if you're who you want to be and all those other fun, existential things. Oh wait, you don't know, because you're 19. Fuck.

Being almost 30 is not by any means, a logical reason as to why you should listen to me. 

I know that you're expecting a long rant about all the terrible choices you made up until now, and a how-to guide on avoiding them all. You won't be getting any of that.

You saw The Butterfly Effect more recently than I did. I don't want this letter to be the demise of my alternate future self. Though, technically, I suppose writing this letter at all is a risk because its existence, should it end up in your hands, could very well be the thing that throws off all of the other things...

No, you haven't stopped overthinking anything. That's still going strong.

Here's my advice: Don't do anything differently.

• Break up with the people that hurt your heart, even when it hurts you more.
• Drink when you want to be drunk. 
• Buy ALL THE THINGS on your credit card. (Seriously, go buckwild on this one).
• Quit your job when you're above it.
• Force your one week ex to drop your Heroes season DVD off on your parent's doorstep so you don't have to see him one more time.
• Be selfish when it comes to love.
• Keep writing in your Livejournal well past the point of it being relevant! 
• Dye your hair like fire.
• Stop shaving your arms after 17 years, turns out your insecurities from 6th grade aren't at all justified!
• Get adult braces.
• Buy a French Bulldog. 
• Definitely keep cursing at your cat, she doesn't get any better.
• Apologize to everyone you've wronged, even when you know they aren't ready to forgive you. Even Tommy.

I could keep going, because I'm not convinced you should change anything. Every single bit of everything you do brought me to where I am. 

Where I am is pretty fucking solid.

Love, 

​Lauren